No, you publish a kind 10002 with a list of relays you read or write from. If someone wants to mention you, they publish to your read relays; if someone wants to read your notes they read from your write relays. This means even if you're banned from the top 10 relays, your self-hosted relay still is accessible. People only need to know that you write to it. That information can be suppressed on the top 10 relays, but those events are easier to replicate and can be more easily identified as suppressed.