hmmmm, very interesting reply.
and a very good insight about loving yourself first. being inauthentic is an excellent point, but there's more to it than looking stupid or making mistakes.

there was a time when i didn't love myself and i continuously sought validation from my Wife. this created an unhealthy dynamic. it wasn't until i learned to love and accept myself that i could make the shift from being selfish to being supportive.

however, i feel i need to point out that it was my deep desire to serve Her—the commitment to being the partner She deserves—that truly inspired me to change. recognizing how my actions affected Her and our relationship pushed me to better myself. my journey toward self-improvement was driven by the wish to honor and support Her more fully.

in this way, my desire to serve Her not only motivated me to grow but also helped me establish a healthier, more balanced dynamic between us. yet your point remains valid because i couldn't love Her fully until i could love myself.

thanks again for sharing your valuable insight.   :3 

 Your desire to serve her was intrinsic motivation to become a better person for yourself and for her. Also, she needed to be willing to allow for your change. 

This is a great topic. Thanks for posing the question. 

 "what is of me begins in me—but what is of me belongs to Her."

but you are 10,000% right—She had to be willing to accept. <3