Oddbean

So, today, short before lunch, this story idea / character materialized in my brain and I had to write it down. It is a very rough #WiP and right now a lot of things are pretty vague, but this character and, while writing, the second one are "there", so I wanted to share the idea to hear what you think about it. Tagging #PennedPossibilities and #WordWeavers because I consider you "my" people on here. Meet Blue Nightsky, Nightmare Manager https://archiveofourown.org/works/50619472

@b2ab0244 Since the author asked me to make my critique public, I am doing so. I don't do public critiques without consent. To wit: Love the concept. That first line rocks. Unsure of the genre. Thinking Is this mainstream or urban fantasy? Modern re table saw. Or just modern magical world, which I think is keen. Gender not obvious in first part; maybe intentional. Not sure how to state gender if wanted to, considering POV. No attribution on the first line caused me to mistake MC was suggesting they be a nightmare manager. Thought it was the mom. Bottle is too anonymous. You later imply beer, but it was a sore thumb sticking up to me. Distracting. Robe throws me, but only because I'm unsure of the genre. Made me think, is this a halloween story off and on, tho prob not. I've always thought eye makeup for men makes sense. The ancient Egyptians did it, so why not modern men. Doesn't reset my gender expectations, but I kind of feel like I'd like to know for sure what the MC feels. Lack of genre expectations and understand of place being iffy, don't ya know. Kept my interest to the end and left me wondering what happens, but whilst it is obvious who the characters are, the thing that threatens to throw me out is "time and place." I'd suggest you make that clearer, or define the genre better, thus our expectations. The concept is a good one, though.

@b2ab0244 I love this idea! The premise amuses me, even though it is caused by a tough life. This character is someone who gets up and makes something out of a bad situation. Love the magical hero outfit. This could be a start of a book/TV series in a lot of genres. I want to read more! I also love that the protagonist's gender is unclear - anything is possible. I get enby vibes. Maybe the character themself doesn't care at all. They are them, no matter what gender.