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 Best solution is if the relay is on the network too, be that onion services or i2p.
I know there are a few Onion nostr relays, not sure on i2p. If you find i2p ones, let me know 
 Ok ok ok, if I find one I’ll make sure to inform ya.
Also do you know of of how to…
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 As far as I know PGP to relay would have to be custom coded.  In my subjective opinion, you're better off whitelisting by nostr public key, since the metadata is on the relay anyway. 
 Thank you very much