Oppress your cat.

Soliliquize.

Pay to go work on a totally-not-sex-tourism international development project somewhere tropical and manly. 

 I was thinking of going to Miami with @jack Dorsey fren 

 Bring the cat, and claim to be helping storm refugees 

 I’m afraid that Jack will fuck my cat too fren he is a dangerous fucker fren 

 Buy a tiger 

 I can’t do this to the tiger 

 And you shouldn't. 

I'm pretty sure that's illegal everywhere except St. Barts. 

 There are many illegal activities that occur in a world that appears legal fren