I am by no means a relay expert so I wouldn’t be able to give you any advice, but since nostr.wine is a one-time-subscription relay (doesn’t apply to their filter and inbox relay) just keep it. They seem to have improved it. I can’t detect any spam coming from their relay for days. Also, your configuration depends on if you are using a client with outbox model (e.g. Amethyst) or not. If you use a client like #Amethyst, follow @Vitor Pamplona ‘s guide here:

https://habla.news/u/vitorpamplona.com/relay-setup 

 Thank you I appreciate the help. 
When I joined nostr, I noticed that nostr.wine was added to my relay list, but I never paid to join. It seems that I am connected and authorized though? Not sure if I understand that. I’m also using Damus on iOS 

 No, if you haven’t paid, you’re not subscribed. You can check it here:

https://nostr.wine/invoices

“Authenticated” just means that this is not a free relay everyone can connect to. You have to authenticate yourself, which in this specific case means that you have to pay.