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 I agree with so much of this.  I always felt pretty much the same.  The one thing that got me thinking was that it only makes sense that there is one creator,  not a bunch of different ones.  So if that's the case,  all religions might be claiming to know that their god is the creator,  but in fact there can only be one true God. Buddhism has dozens of gods, which doesn't make any sense.  There must be one Supreme being above all who created all. 

The fact that there are thousands of accounts of Jesus rising from the dead has a strong indication that God was at hand. 

I always struggled with organized religion as well for the same reasons.  During covid i almost offed myself due to various reasons.  Out of desperation i tried one last thing,  praying to Christ. Within 3 months my two massive requests were answered.  I couldn't deny what had happened. These two things eluded me for over two decades.  This lead me to spend the rest of the lock down reading the Bible.  I found so much wisdom there that i wish i had known earlier. 

This is how my eyes were opened.  We've only recently joined a church but with some hesitancy.  I'm certainly grateful to have read a bunch of the teachings first. 

Anyways,  sounds like you're on the right path brother.  Pray that God would open your eyes to truth.  Because the truth matters.  Religion aside,  i pray that you would make that genuine connection with the one true God. It is full of fruit.  Changed my life beyond comprehension and i always disliked religion and particularly Christianity. God has been doing a great work within me. 

Blessings.  May God draw near to you.   
 Buddhism doesn’t actually believe in gods; that concept aligns more closely with Hinduism. However, as I’ve mentioned, I believe Jesus represents a physical and material embodiment of the ‘Self’ image. Christ is the Western interpretation of what the East refers to as the Self, the Atman, the Purusha, or the Buddha. In symbolic terms, Buddha represents the Self. Christian doctrine asserts that Christ was God who became man. In psychological terms, this signifies that the Self approached human consciousness in a distinct form, manifesting autonomously from outside rather than being a product of human realisation.

If you examine the differences between the West and the East closely, you can see this representation of the Self more clearly. Eastern cultures tend to be less preoccupied with and entangled in materialism, focusing more on the concept of the mind. As a result, their understanding of the Self is often more refined than that of their Western counterparts. For Western man, the meaninglessness of a static universe is intolerable; he feels compelled to assume that it holds meaning. Conversely, the Eastern individual does not require this assumption; instead, he embodies meaning. While the Westerner seeks to complete the meaning of the world externally, the Easterner strives for the fulfillment of meaning within himself, detaching the world and existence from his own sense of being.

The central symbol of Christianity is the cross, a representation rooted in physical materialism, whereas Buddhism symbolizes the Self. Western culture tends to exhibit a predominantly extraverted worldview, projecting meaning onto external objects and assuming that meaning exists outside oneself. In contrast, Eastern culture often leans toward introversion, perceiving meaning within. However, meaning exists both internally and externally. This tension between internal and external meaning can be observed in various aspects of modern life.

In my view, religions serve as symbolic systems that help individuals connect with their unconscious minds, achieve psychological balance, and find meaning in life. The God-image can be understood as an archetype representing the highest aspects of human experience, often projected onto religious symbols and deities.

Here’s a video that might help clarify what I’m discussing:

https://youtu.be/Y1lYekAU5Tc?si=mabmLL5hMU62RPP- 
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