I learned about the xpub from @petermccormack. turns out I should have used a zpub 

https://media.tenor.com/g_A4grtscqYAAAAC/dumb-stupid.gif 

 solved!! thank you @Test Dummy

I had to turn off derivation path validation in the Preferences in sparrow. Create a new wallet, change the script type to Legacy. Choose Software Wallet, enter seed phrase. Before you click Import Keystore, change the derivation path to m/84’/0’/0’. Import the custom derivation path.

then, I couldn't send to myself as different script, so I had to send to temp wallet then back.

nostr:note12hmanrw0l9z3d75xvdz9mgkf0j0lgu4fqvf6pw8t6hesfamcuhfqa75eyz 

 Awesome!