OK I see them now. Thankfully not too many, but fundamentally something to consider.

Gossip has "spamsafe" settings for relays.  If you turn it off (saying "this relay is not spamsafe") then it will only fetch replies from people that you follow (we don't have WoT yet but that would be better).

Based on the 2 "ReplyGuy" messages I'm seeing, I guess I have listed wss://offchain.pub and wss://nostr.einundzwanzig.space as "spam safe" but they aren't.  I'll just go flip the switch then.