All things I was hoping to learn in testing. Testing myself wouldn't reveal something like a Minibits delay since I don't use it. I appreciate your time and effort. It's looking like this isn't the solution I was hoping for. Self-custody Lightning is still kind of a pain to be honest. 

 Have you tried whether the Alby hub function is more practical?
It seems to be the easiest solution. 

 I have used Alby exclusively, but practical currently comes at a cost, unfortunately. I'm trying to come up with the most practical way of not relying on something like Alby. 

 Currently, I don't think there is a practical, simple and cheap solution to have your own lightning node and be self-sovereign, unfortunately.
But if you find it I will be happy to help you test it.