Of course this will happen if you use a client that doesn't do outbox model. I guess all this mess was not correctly explained.
Yup, still looking for an ELI5
@hopper use one of these nostr clients that support NIP-65/Gossip and you'll have a better experience with small relays, because they can intelligently find the relays that contain the missing pieces from profile info, notes, etc. Nostrudel: https://nostrudel.ninja Snort: https://snort.social Iris: https://iris.to Coracle: https://coracle.social They're all Progressive Web Apps, which means you can install them on your phone to behave like a regular app.