Wanna know how to spot a Real Man? He strides fearlessly into the kitchen after a big messy feast and for an opener performs a triumph of 3-D geometry in dishwasher packing, then, with a chortle, mercilessly expunges cooked-on food from all surfaces, even improperly-sealed cast iron, shedding a manly tear at the pan’s condition. He sneers at the grease’s pleas for mercy. The stovetop recognizes the inevitable and meekly submits to ferocious spatter-and-drip removal.