Unexpected house sitting ordeal: the DVR is beeping every five seconds or so and the person who can make it stop properly is asleep in a different time zone.

I could stop it improperly but this is like a Robocop's Fourth Directive thing. It's not my security setup.


nostr:npub1cp3avrd27s5fur0cg2e822jkjrev9vq92mgg00qd8ee7yg3knh7s5wjkwa big same!


One thing 2023 hasn't been is boring.


Today in ADHD: putting my shorts on inside out.


nostr:npub1zy7vt47awda2ygsa65hdtdclv7k5zyvwanghvypukmm696k3xeaqeamg2n 😅


nostr:npub1zy7vt47awda2ygsa65hdtdclv7k5zyvwanghvypukmm696k3xeaqeamg2n this was *entirely* luck. And finally sorting Google maps by desired arrival time.


Got my meds and somehow all four busses and both trains lined up; there has been extremely minimal wait time between transit vehicles and thanks to this happening in a peppy fashion it's been a total of $2.50 on my hop card. 😄


nostr:npub1jqnfkmv6eyuxghxcrt46pnuzt52catza03knsu209j4na80vfucsxys82j oh that is deeply uncool. Accessibility options might cover the font but if memory serves that's a global not per app. ☹


nostr:npub1jqnfkmv6eyuxghxcrt46pnuzt52catza03knsu209j4na80vfucsxys82j what did they do to it?


nostr:npub1zgkml73cw7ugu04ch5hscvdzvrm79m2jtkhcg5pj4yhny6adaa0qmgqn6z fleeing Missouri for Oregon and an apartment for a house sitting contract really upped the stakes for me. Fortunately the rewards for making my brain do the thing aren't "continued existence" but "improved existence." Which I managed to take some steps toward today. Whew!


nostr:npub1zgkml73cw7ugu04ch5hscvdzvrm79m2jtkhcg5pj4yhny6adaa0qmgqn6z "If I screw this up, I'm homeless" is very much my life lately. It's a lot to deal with and my mind seems to have locked it out except for times when I have to deal with it directly.


nostr:npub1eyszugs46q4ngd8tgeysnkwve20n9wewj42lac9cp7s2jrk52u2qce6x02 over a long enough timeline, every Mac user loses data or workflow to Apple's forced obsolescence model.


This trait was probably a lot more useful a long way back when the situations were something like "will that tiger notice me or not and what will I do if it does."


Here's the thing about anxiety: things almost never go wrong in the way that you think that they might.

I honestly wish my mind could just let my brain fizz until the reaction is complete without it feeling compelled to panic and plan for contingencies.


They send a link with the notification text to get more info off the website; that lists [preferred name] [preferred surname] [legal surname] so with all other identifying factors being in place and verifiable... (and my legal surname being excitingly uncommon...)


So I got a text saying my meds are in at the pharmacy. Problem is the batch was submitted in my preferred name, not my legal name. I... don't know how much of a problem this is going to be. All other information the pharmacy uses for verification will be the same.


This doesn't solve my immediate issue but it is the beginning of solving the long term issue - I do need to transfer to Oregon-based medical care, pronto.


Kroger generic "tenders" - their soy-based 'meat substitute' - are... half the price of alternatives, and delicious, and have an excellent texture if cooked.


Yesterday I did a combination grocery and post office run; I need to mail a thing but I think mailing things is gonna be a thing, so I picked up a small stack of customs forms and ink-won't-smear address labels. I was going to mail the thing I need to mail today, but waking up to no news from the clinic SMS line kinda stuck a cattle prod in my brain.


Fortunately there's no shortage of the anxiety med - it's take as needed and it's honestly *this*, specifically, that stirs up enough of a blind panic that chemical measures are called for.


I started the ball rolling on the refill process over two weeks ago. I just... haven't been able to make my brain actually make the local clinic calls until now.

And I feel like an ass because holy heck I was sobbing by the end of the message and they're gonna hear that. C'est la vie.


Finally snuck around the executive function block on calling a local clinic a friend sold me on to establish care and they're not accepting new patients. Finally called a service I researched my first week here and left a message. Called my clinic in MO and left a very anxious message about the lack of communication on getting an out of state refill (status: unknown. discontinuation if I can't get a refill: Saturday for one med, Tuesday or Wednesday for the other.).


Woke up to good news last night - work on the scrips supposedly began this morning. That's some of my anxiety defused - the worst of it, for now.


HELL
AIN'T A BAD PLACE
HELL
IS FROM HERE TO ETERNITY


I've tweaked tags, added chapter summaries, reworded the opening notes and have written ending notes for my #FFXivWrite2023 story, "Tales of Adventure: One Duskwight's Journey." It is complete!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795321


The final #FFXivWrite2023 prompt is "Amity," and that's how Jacinthe departs the Scions, passing the torch to Lauden... and travelling home to give her wife some news.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795321/chapters/127468927


Oh, I also pinged the admin line shortly after the SMS line. No response. If I don't hear anything by Monday morning I'm going to switch to voice. The uncertainty is... something the meds aren't doing a great job of coping with, honestly.


Back in February I dialed Wellbutrin down from 450 to 300 because 450 felt like too much at the time. What followed was three days of complete idiocy and a rapid descent back into depression that kept getting worse until I went back to 450, where I've been since. I can't imagine going from 450 to 0. If that does happen I'm going to do my best to document the experience.


I need to get an OHP application in early this coming week - too late to avoid discontinuation if that's in the cards. I started the inquiry on an out of state refill on Monday, September 18th. I'm not half assing that part of this.


Contacted the MO clinic the week before last about refills; SMS line said they'd talk to the doc and the pharmacy team. On Tuesday. I haven't heard anything since. Given just how critical these meds are and how brutal discontinuation is, I'm getting my head around the idea that this could be my last week of life as a functional human being.


nostr:npub1ts4620gpq7ajeg8mnngd9l3ca2hy4k7nun6krzcnd6f7erced0zqe3w6cj head and shoulders has been recommended as the "nuke from orbit" option, and it worked back in the 90s. 🤔


nostr:npub1ts4620gpq7ajeg8mnngd9l3ca2hy4k7nun6krzcnd6f7erced0zqe3w6cj first ingredient in the shampoo, after water. Heck!


nostr:npub1ts4620gpq7ajeg8mnngd9l3ca2hy4k7nun6krzcnd6f7erced0zqe3w6cj I initially thought the problem was that I use conditioner for like a week and then shampoo, like, once a week, but... nope. This is a "dry skin on scalp" thing, as evinced by the fact that I've got a dry patch on my forehead, too.  (not as pronounced fortunately)


nostr:npub1hth2690zrp2tdt6dfwuvykt9whqrfu4lm2gv737ltqf0tj7cqlgsu0he0c I guess. Finding one that works reasonably well is going to be a whole thing.


I'm presently living in a building with proper HVAC and filtration and what that ultimately means is I have a dry scalp for the first time since 1997. It looks *horrible* close up. I literally showered this morning and it's... distressing to look at, to put it mildly.

Wondering what the solution to that is other than "shave head" or "shampoo every single day, thus making my hair look like shit."


Today's #FFXivWrite2023 prompt is "Contravention" and I worked that in as a Freudian slip of 'contraception,' and if you've been following the story, you know what this chapter's going to be about...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795321/chapters/127402117


nostr:npub1g9h0v9u7v404h8m598zrfdg3hd5nzh2p25xxwj4h4ychg6ce7pwqd063j0 (MO drivers in my experience varied; not as nasty as PA but a lot more big diesel trucks with fashy stickers. There's like *one* loud truck in the entire suburb here, it's a nice change of pace.)


Plant based "meat substitute" protip: do not microwave. You *can,* but texturally with this stuff microwaves and ovens yield different results in a way they don't with meat. If texture is key for you, use the oven.


Grocery bills continue to be yikes at a glance and in line with MO prices if I factor comfort food separately. My exploration of meat substitutes isn't doing me any favors, though if the Kroger generic soy based "chicken" is as good as the name brand stuff, I'm set.


Made it back; dressing to unpacked was a little under three hours. Traffic noise is still bad but the lower intensity morning light made a huge difference.

A thing that would never happen in PA or MO: three SUVs traveling three different directions all stopped and hung back to let me cross the road.


Irregular asphalt sidewalk is really something else when your lighting source is radiosity off the cloud cover. Concrete sidewalk stands out readily.


nostr:npub1g9h0v9u7v404h8m598zrfdg3hd5nzh2p25xxwj4h4ychg6ce7pwqd063j0 I'd still need to get out for exercise. Which I am, admittedly, getting plenty of at the moment.


In an attempt to avoid the total sensory overload I had to live with for three hours straight the last time I did a grocery store run on foot, I have left the house at a little after 05:30am on a totally overcast day. The infrastructure between the house and the bus stop is in no way to speak of designed for this.


Today's #FFXivWrite2023 prompt is "Blunt," which makes it the perfect time to introduce a certain neurodivergent machinist into the story.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795321/chapters/127347241


Today's #FFXIVWrite2023 prompt is "Sole" and features the timely murder of the only Roegadyn praefectus in Imperial service:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795321/chapters/127289221


nostr:npub1h55q4u52v7ysfvxdtxngya9chpgtx0ru3hxq0w7hwnknxqqtkhzqz9jfjp nostr:npub16mjv0crlfwmgvsfy60sqehz2765el9c4k676dpsq92ed2msdycnqwpalcf *entering* alt text isn't that great, either.


nostr:npub1h55q4u52v7ysfvxdtxngya9chpgtx0ru3hxq0w7hwnknxqqtkhzqz9jfjp nostr:npub16mjv0crlfwmgvsfy60sqehz2765el9c4k676dpsq92ed2msdycnqwpalcf I've heard decent things about Tusky; Ice Cubes sounds new to me. 🤔

(the official app is definitely lacking, but what it does have mostly works, at least)


nostr:npub1h55q4u52v7ysfvxdtxngya9chpgtx0ru3hxq0w7hwnknxqqtkhzqz9jfjp nostr:npub16mjv0crlfwmgvsfy60sqehz2765el9c4k676dpsq92ed2msdycnqwpalcf wish I could edit on the mobile app; that starts off one thought and ends another and they're not entirely related. >.@


nostr:npub1h55q4u52v7ysfvxdtxngya9chpgtx0ru3hxq0w7hwnknxqqtkhzqz9jfjp nostr:npub16mjv0crlfwmgvsfy60sqehz2765el9c4k676dpsq92ed2msdycnqwpalcf artists and writers need to team up and bring the mother of all class action lawsuits. A result of anything less than paid residuals for every single work sampled to every single creator whose work has been stolen would be optimal.


nostr:npub1yz8jkqzt88wh8qh6vl84jujnqsy9xqswrq833fsp02e9hvdjan0q4uy56j honestly given the fact everyone's doing fuckall about covid, the "same bathroom" thing is a particular nightmare.

Would be the best place to rig up with Far UV after the building entrance, though.


Today's #FFXivWrite2023 prompt is "Last" and wow, this one is *dark.* And features Yda Hext.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795321/chapters/127227358


nostr:npub1yz8jkqzt88wh8qh6vl84jujnqsy9xqswrq833fsp02e9hvdjan0q4uy56j 😱


Good news! I've found umbrellas in the house. Nice ones. I've also found *my* umbrella, the one I kept, in the box with my ratchet straps and tape. WHEW.

I want to use the nice one but it's beeg and mine fits in my backpack or can ride hilt-out in a cargo pocket - more practical for long range pedestrianing.


I unfortunately (?) left an alarm armed and kept hitting snooze instead of STAHP and at some point in there I started writing this installment in my head so I figured waking most of the rest of the way up and getting it out while it was there to be got was the way to go.


Todays #FFXivWrite2023 prompt: 2k words about tank stance written on 3-4 hours of very interrupted sleep, comin' atcha: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795321/chapters/126671266


nostr:npub1x24hz5qdf570q3h7436py264lwlawjum73xqtxlcycg8tlvekkcs6kt3ww what did you migrate to?


nostr:npub1w9uez6gmha7qkdxf0e4rx3add5wwsplrdge0phr06t7s9q2s3uls74nlqv I heard a ways back that we're still under the emergency that was declared with the Korean War, so, yeah. Priorities.


Todays #FFXivWrite2023 prompt is "Jerk." So of course Gaius van Baelsar makes an appearance.

CW: implied sex (f/f; not Gaius)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795321/chapters/126612286


nostr:npub1s8v9ng7mg5vlqtvn44vy4aksdhqq9d36ec0esgj2365jl09ejgxqvgqtw7 ah that makes sense; those ports are on the bottom on the models I've seen. Which are older, I guess.


nostr:npub1s8v9ng7mg5vlqtvn44vy4aksdhqq9d36ec0esgj2365jl09ejgxqvgqtw7 my ancient nerd instinct wants to say "sata" or "esata" but... no idea, honestly.


I wrote a sword fight for today's #FFXivWrite2023 prompt. It's my first real prose fight scene, like, ever. I am not a fighty-fighty person so I hope it lands!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795321/chapters/126489544


nostr:npub1yyzfzzmj35tvcw0c8ka7carz9kxpfrp909e6glzmqlf82mgnvcgqc7rm3y 😐


nostr:npub1yyzfzzmj35tvcw0c8ka7carz9kxpfrp909e6glzmqlf82mgnvcgqc7rm3y Ah, that makes sense. I imagine in both cases a lot of very talented and well-meaning software developers are incandescently angry at a c-suite too privileged to give a shit.


nostr:npub1yyzfzzmj35tvcw0c8ka7carz9kxpfrp909e6glzmqlf82mgnvcgqc7rm3y oh, right.

Thing is, there's already alternatives available, and Unity shooting themselves in the foot with a MIRV will hopefully juice funding and development of FOSS  projects like Godot.

Google nuking Reader fucked the entire internet; RSS as a consumer-facing technology has been all but dead since then. (at least in my experience; I've never heard of a replacement getting any kind of traction.)


nostr:npub1yyzfzzmj35tvcw0c8ka7carz9kxpfrp909e6glzmqlf82mgnvcgqc7rm3y what's going on?


My approach to politics is USUALLY to boost voices I agree with and only speak on a subject if I have something I can talk about from a lived experience standpoint. I should... uh. Stick to that.


Deleted a toot because dang, the left really is its own worst enemy.


nostr:npub1jlp2zps0022nga8d2jgxw5r9hzm695tw6x33m4y9f4m4j8u40pksce0q6x nostr:npub1etvvpmlcvg5sl23lkm5h90vlwkpukrhh958z8grdp5up4upxgavq339cye nostr:npub1t72wdrywlqvpg8af4xljj4k5yj8u9ed7mt2cgg5d0rc8fymzc0aqju5nre Really not a fan of the fact I have to load their bloated-ass app for my current mouse to use the desired DPI. (another symptom of enshittification)


nostr:npub1t72wdrywlqvpg8af4xljj4k5yj8u9ed7mt2cgg5d0rc8fymzc0aqju5nre nostr:npub1etvvpmlcvg5sl23lkm5h90vlwkpukrhh958z8grdp5up4upxgavq339cye not expensive but I saw that with a model of Logitech mouse - same model number, progressively shittier build quality.


nostr:npub1cc09lpehuf2493hruvv5xs765qga26v99szx6msp7jk44e5fr68skeeuss nostr:npub1etvvpmlcvg5sl23lkm5h90vlwkpukrhh958z8grdp5up4upxgavq339cye oh, heck, HP is a GREAT example of enshittification. They used to be reputable. Their printers were *tanks*, they were *standard* in offices and computer labs. Now they're a waste of the materials used to create components, and have been for at least the past decade.


nostr:npub1xexmqgua0825emf8uv038t7l0mkllrnm87d4jn497u83whpc9jfszs6dav nostr:npub1gg8jda85zwydw5ejh3s87fdt4s377cusafhn2kf9gurk9xl5tt9sl4439g I've noticed that mastodon seems to be significantly more vitriolic than twitter and I'm wondering if that's a dilution thing (I follow a ton of art accounts on twitter so Disk Horse is comparatively a smaller chunk of it) or if people are just genuinely more pissed off here. Or if it's a block thing; I was part of a block list on twitter for awhile that blocked everything trans-hostile.


nostr:npub1etvvpmlcvg5sl23lkm5h90vlwkpukrhh958z8grdp5up4upxgavq339cye heck, if you want something that a reputable brand you knew from back in the day doesn't make anymore, well... GOOD LUCK.


nostr:npub1xexmqgua0825emf8uv038t7l0mkllrnm87d4jn497u83whpc9jfszs6dav nostr:npub1gg8jda85zwydw5ejh3s87fdt4s377cusafhn2kf9gurk9xl5tt9sl4439g I vibe with the bit about the civility trap for that exact reason - i felt the thing snap shut on me in that thread.

Seeing a chunk of highly radioactive debris in my feed originating from an account I had until that point trusted has been a real "what's going on here?" moment.


nostr:npub1ad226ftmpkp6av57mz7xc57z6mhxrk2zy9r30hj46kjhg7zlwvcsavp35z ...what's the "logic" behind banning ebikes? Building owners don't like how little space they take up?


Realizing I probably have the charm to do CSR work if it paid well and wasn't high pressure (hah, hah) and that, parallel to that, my writing skills and professional habits with regards *to* my writing skills add up to technical writing being a career path I should look into.


Waiting for the callback is usually my idea of hell, but in this case it's not an "I need this fixed to live" matter for me like it was with uhaul last month and the month before, and I've had the #FFXivWrite2023 prompt to work on, so fortunately the time passed smoothly.


For how my mind works, the actual talking-to-a-human was the good part. Not "fun" but gratifying in the sense that progress was being made quickly and answers were immediate.

The tough part was the research I needed to bring together to make the call (which the owner did, and I collated) and the mapping and exploration I needed to do of the CA DMV phone system to get to the callback prompt.


Todays moment of validation: CC'ed the house owner on a DMV thing, and while writing the summary-of-the-call email, received a text saying "That must have been a very annoying phone call."


nostr:npub1kd7dpneauldwdupxmrgumuelmu9yd2qqdtafk8xdm38qqt4rs9gqm5xg6w I've played it and the base game is really just kind of a condom for the DLC, so if it's your kind of game, then a bundle that includes a lot of it (and there is a LOT of it) at a reasonable price is a good way into it.


nostr:npub1gg8jda85zwydw5ejh3s87fdt4s377cusafhn2kf9gurk9xl5tt9sl4439g (passing judgement on an entire group of people on the basis of a handful of 4chan users is... fash tactics, right out of the fash playbook.)


nostr:npub1gg8jda85zwydw5ejh3s87fdt4s377cusafhn2kf9gurk9xl5tt9sl4439g Seriously. Watching a respected POC voice in my feed just up and start wiping their ass with "trans people" made me nauseous.


Today in house sitting: digging up an email I wrote yesterday as it included a detailed sequence of actions taken to navigate the CDMV phone system. I remember *none* of that at this point beyond "I wrote it down."


Follow-up thing is: I've dealt with the PA and MO DMVs. In person. This is *very* outside of my wheelhouse, so even with a flowchart sketched out and (hopefully) all relevant data in front of me I'm still easily flustered/discouraged. The unfamiliarity is, honestly, overwhelming.


Thing is I think I know the option I want but I'm not *sure* as what I'm dealing with is a process that got quirked. I'm not initiating a process. A human could probably clear this up in a few seconds. If I could figure out how to route to one.


Third attempt:

DMV: How can I help you?

Me: I'd like to speak to a human?

DMV: How can I help you? (at intervals); system eventually gives up and asks me if I'd like to speak to a team member.

List of seven options (1-6, 9), can't figure out what's applicable. System repeats the menu a couple of times then gets impatient with me and hangs up.


nostr:npub1aqds8zg36p6umuwn4zqnv49grnu3l76mnhn66ff2g46ehuhklmqs36nw3w the people I'm acting on behalf of are very much not.


First attempt: get to a callback prompt menu. No idea how that happened; wish I could find it again as my brain stalled and I hung up.

Second attempt:

DMV: expert system rattles off a phone number that sounds like it might be useful.

Me: Can you repeat that number?

DMV: gives me a sermon about occupational licensing.

DMV: How can I help you?

Me: Not like that!

DMV: repeats sermon on occupational licensing.


Today in house sitting (in Oregon, just to be clear): I'm about to... call the California DMV...?

(The why of this is boring and mostly revolves around time zones. It very much wasn't on my bingo card for this week.)


nostr:npub1ccnwhyhvp4wlcj8afsw2puj3rxa9daj2c7jch0zacl39j596485sr5ly9q nostr:npub14rq8s334a5kjlrh0ec8frfd8v529g85gv839csgn3n7vxs7yklyq2mngmg that wouldn't surprise me at all, honestly. My first weekend was the best high of my entire life; my baseline craving for total consciousness obliteration ceased and I felt like I was finally actually drug-free for the first time in my life. (despite having dried out six years earlier)


A big downside of overloaded ears being jammed into full-on ramscoop mode is that I can hear the dog barking outside, through the wall, beneath the audio file I'm trying to use to cover up the noise.

At one point back in the day I could hear a toilet running in another room under three fans set on maximum speed and VLC set loud enough to hear over the fans.

It might be time for earplugs.


There's nothing like enduring multiple hours of inescapable sensory overload to make you wish you could warn past you just how much misery you're in for.


Also. It's currently 75f with 35% humidity. In August. I think I experienced that combination *once* in MO. In, like, April.