I have to remind myself of this. Everything we know about surviving we learned from abused cats, birds and humans, and everything we learned about being gentle came from observing all three when they seemed whole. It's all just observation. And it would be worthless to collect any of that if we don't listen. We can't assume we can just learna  thing and that's it, we've mastered it. I try to listen, know I don't do enough of it, and push myself to be less shy, less guarded, more receptive, more observant. Even if I became someone a million people thought was great, I hope not that's way too many people, I want to still be trying. Because anyone who tells you that you shouldn't have to, that if you're "good" you'll just *be* that way, is someone to be wary of. Heard that the most from white Christians, with some scattered exceptions.