@b870d4c8 In defense of pumpkin spice: that's *literally* ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice and cloves. Or as we call it in Sweden: "warm spices to put everywhere"

(now, in *not* defense of it, the actual warming spices in the syrups/lattes are probably drowned in sugar, paired with sugar and more sugar. Or to be "healthy": High-fructose corn syrup <.<) 

 @94a46b7d That was one of the big take-aways of my evaluation: due to my ambitions and drive I would push myself to do things, and I had the wits and knowledge to do it ... so it wasn't until someone who had worked with autistic people for many years (both the "low hanging fruit" and more complicated so-called "female autism"--I think we both know that it's not "female"--and others) was *actively looking* for neurodivergent traits and was willing to listen to my lived experiences it was as ... obvious as I might feel it is now (my spouse is autistic, in a lot more of the "typical" ways, so while I 100% for sure knew that other people could be autistic while not being like him, somehow it was impossible that *I could be autistic, since I wasn't like him. Brains, y'know?)

i think the wording that was most ... chilling to me was when he described the result of one particular test (something about remembering complicated geometrical figures and recreating them one paper). I had a lot of difficulties with it, because I was remembering it as "rectangle there, connecting with a triangle here, and a square with a circle here", etc, rather than as the whole thing (which apparently allistic people generally does?). I got an "average" result because I compensated for it with my mental capacities, which is pretty much how my entire life has gone. Just that now (I'm in my early 40s) I live with chronic pain so it takes a lot more out of me to do that, and thus ... I can't anymore. 

 @94a46b7d Know that what I am saying here comes from the heart and is sincere, even if it might be clumsy: You have my sympathy for how hard life for you were, and while you and I don't exactly interact much, I still value your input (even when you're not metaphorically bleeding all over the keyboard as in this case).

I was late diagnosed but I've always known I was different--expressing thoughts such as "I don't really think I'm an alien, but it would make sense". I suspect I'm the kind of person that "can't have been that autistic" (though I hope no one's ever thought I acted superior over it), because what I lacked in other skills I made up for in willingness to ignore my own boundaries and needs, and thinking my way around problems. I was "pushing through" towards an early grave, I've come to realise.