Nothing to see here, folks, keep scrolling.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/112/230/643/489/787/457/original/51610af1695f7298.jpeg

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/112/230/643/492/099/635/original/d11df130a9439c44.jpeg


A street artist draws a work of art: "the invisibility of poverty". A masterpiece. The artist’s name is Kevin Lee.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/112/225/090/085/580/295/original/dfcea09420915879.jpeg


Frog family hanging out on Heliconia.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/112/207/690/947/708/316/original/b4a0e5c0dce4323b.jpeg


Has Trump gone yet?

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/112/094/462/887/022/987/original/0fe77fe9235b1943.jpeg


I crawled into a warm bed last night and I know where I’m sleeping tonight. There is a roof over my head & the house is warm. The fridge and cupboards have food. I turn on the tap and have clean water. If I have to take less trips, walk a bit further, so be it. We are luckier than most people that we share this world with right now. Count your blessings, not your entitlements.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/112/083/343/620/627/611/original/395f74cefcbd60b9.jpeg


Salad? Do I look like a rabbit???

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/297/404/264/512/465/original/828e2f5cb8c3b890.jpeg


This morning I removed my sleep shorts, put on my undershorts and then put on my normal shorts.
Worst short story ever.…..


Do something nice today. Like, If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them.
It only takes a second of your time and it'll make them feel so special.


I was just reading about a man who claims his body only fights viruses on Saturdays and Sundays.
His doctors say he has a weekend immune system.


I wonder: Do all the other bedrooms have to do what the master bedroom says?


Advice for today: No matter what your lot in life may be, build something on it.                       .


Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween.
I guess they don't appreciate random people coming knocking on their doors.


I’ve heard that if you line up all the vehicles in the world end to end - some idiot will try to pass them.


Caption this………

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/183/175/859/576/096/original/d3aca10271adef02.jpeg


nostr:npub1qq29fvsu4jen4a04avh83zyvsvkmf3retcq3hjhrfwced8zxcx2sh6xe3f
😂 never thought of that! 😂


Tis but a scratch…….

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/177/598/008/333/637/original/64f0ce664636edbe.jpeg


A victim of the what?

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/177/560/381/421/264/original/b404e2a42d6093e6.jpeg


Lighthouse Perched On A Rock Pillar In The Westman Islands, Iceland.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/177/551/253/004/059/original/74933d9056e84d51.jpeg


Disney World said it will help its employees sign up for health care.
So finally, Sneezy can get some Claritin, Sleepy can get some Adderall, and Grumpy can get some Prozac.


A new study found that nice people are more likely to live longer than people with bad attitudes.
Or, as people with bad attitudes put it, "Whatever."


If by "crunches" you mean the sound crisps (chips) make when you bite into them, then yes, I do crunches.


nostr:npub1skwdxme4wshcmd92877qnccrh2h85ycez4pe09qp049l32pf0mlqgxvzuz
Isn’t that, “A priest, an imam and a raven walk into a bar. The raven says: "I think I'm an autocorrect."


Update:

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/173/232/582/527/012/original/c64bb98fbbb3f22a.jpeg


Why do we still use Roman numerals? I mean, what are they good IV?


Tip for today - Remember to drive carefully, it's not only cars that can be recalled by their makers.


Million dollar idea: A zip line, but from the sofa to the fridge.


When Canadians fight on Twitter:

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/171/645/071/076/874/original/eb8ab40479cf8150.jpeg


During The Annual Hair Freezing Contest In Canada.

Contestants keep themselves warm in the hot springs while letting the cold winter air freeze their wet hair into interesting shapes.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/171/639/336/575/405/original/90a966606e7bd17b.jpeg


Graffiti In Canada.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/171/636/782/493/365/original/e1a04066b225a816.jpeg


A Norwegian Forest Cat.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/171/633/662/222/571/original/76b870107e1abb92.jpeg


A priest, a minster and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm an auto-correct”.


Guess who…..

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/171/624/233/522/991/original/429cb24c99cae55e.jpeg


Agate is a popular gemstone that’s a banded form of finely-grained quartz. One variation of the stone features tiny, abstract scenes that resemble mountains, rivers, and skies. This has earned them the nickname “landscape agates”.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/171/623/549/689/273/original/e25078a93f85e7b7.jpeg


nostr:npub19xq4hl3hhhknj0t8vutupeezct0378n3mw5032f86sz5l94njans5t3y79
LOVE this! ❤


According to a photo sent back from the Mars rover, there was once a large stream of flowing water on the surface of Mars. but now it's completely dried up.
Today, Al Gore blamed it on "Martian warming."


It used to be that only death and taxes were inevitable, now there's shipping and handling.


My mom told me I could become anything I wanted. So I became a problem.


New rule: A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


Advice to men out there: If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question, even jumping backwards in shock if necessary.


I went to a beekeeper and asked him for a hundred bees.
He counted out a hundred and one and handed them to me.
"Hey, you gave me an extra one," I said.
“I know”, he replied, “That's a freebie."


Click "like" if you hate being told what to do.


After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
Asking for a friend.


People can be so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their loose laces for them and they freak out instead of saying thanks!


Ladies, here's how to tell if a fellow wants to go to bed with you:
1: He does.


October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.


Researchers say they may have figured out how the ancient Egyptians built the Great Pyramid of Giza.
Now all they need to figure out is how the Egyptians got Mexico to pay for it.


Just enough fingers……

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/149/078/358/253/928/original/f4a7d95129f0a8f7.jpeg


Kids say the darnedest things.……….

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/149/067/263/966/278/original/01cd3377ed80fe98.jpeg


‘Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia’ is the fear of big words.
Oh the irony!


It’s the tooth at the back, I think I broke it chewing a bone.……

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/149/044/824/601/906/original/dbc26e13cb32ebc2.jpeg


The bestest best man…..

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/149/041/207/203/861/original/1919a6d0fcfd16dd.jpeg


Caption this…….

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/149/037/441/010/552/original/57016040a9f3013e.jpeg


nostr:npub1zg82uftxkzwg4armq4rarjm0y0gevfemyp9e532fm8cvz6uehcuq9n79hl
By a stupid teenager! 😥


nostr:npub1pqedk9jrlpwkk6cph98g5pd66ae0lqqx2xjk4n9tq4z9vu553euszlp97j
Does anyone know why? 😥


nostr:npub1w5xcj3anp8ffhyelygtejtgutnlxdusdhet9hp6ewcx63lf4zp5segrq3k
So some on the way there and some on the way back! 😁


I wonder how many of those drug-sniffing dogs end up in rehab?


Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you! 🙃


I like long walks.........especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.


Wow!

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/143/309/757/356/969/original/3e7abe57c78dcb10.jpeg


If you're going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze from the liquor store on your way back?


I'll just rest my head but I'm not really tired.....................zzzzzzzzz

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/143/297/737/720/127/original/70e4f04708f93877.jpeg


A new study has found that women with large butts live longer than the men who mention it.


Who thinks she went out last night?

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/132/026/525/911/927/original/4bc84f39443be4b6.jpeg


It's you and me against the world..........

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/132/018/827/661/447/original/a35414efe6fd18cd.jpeg


For you men who would like to know how to please a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".


My lack of dusting will finally pay off at Halloween. 👻💀👽👹


Grandma, while baking, “Has anyone seen my glasses?”

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/131/970/711/800/434/original/bdfa61ebbb913f20.jpeg


Here we see a baby wigglefloof cleaning its tiny squishybeans.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/103/628/035/819/913/original/61f29f91280e258c.jpeg


nostr:npub1l9sz67vgffwj722fpk7j8v4we3tx85xqtg2084jgy0shjly9206qepvmzu
I like the deeper orange on you.


I would like to remind everyone that it's not the size of the boat or the motion of the ocean, it's whether the boat is able to stay in port until all the passengers have gotten off.


A new study has found that toddlers who talk early tend to develop a drinking problem later on in life.
Another warning sign is if the kid asks for his milk on the rocks.


When daddy dresses the baby.....

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/081/138/611/917/901/original/d3129e520558a65b.jpeg


Did you hear shout the blonde who, when the bartender said "drinks are on the house”, went home to get a ladder?


"Knock, knock."
"It's open."


"It's not you, it's me." - Twins looking through the  family photo album.


Tip for today - Always put a little umbrella in your cocktail so it doesn't get diluted when you're in the shower.


Good advice: Never sign anything until you pretend to read it first.


Tip for today: You can buy an ice cream cake whenever you want. They don’t even check if it’s your birthday or anything, they just take your money and hand you it.


Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
You can't tell me that's just a coincidence.


I feel like getting some work done..........so I'm sitting down till the feeling passes.


Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Divide by 7. Now close your eyes...........it's dark isn't it?


Must have been a great, but tiring, day at the dog park......

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/069/802/271/765/165/original/f7a07d0286327b6f.jpeg


I just walked by an old man who was muttering, “One, three, five, seven, nine….........one, three, five, seven, nine."
I thought to myself, “That's odd.”


I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it's nice that there are so many agreeable babies out there.


If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that I should have learned way more than one thing by now.


A lot of people are complaining that the new iPhones and iPads are different sizes than the last models, the ports are also smaller so none of the old attachments will fit.
This means that people have to buy new cases and attachments.
In response Apple issued an official statement saying, “Exactly."


I'm giving up eating chocolate for a month.

Sorry, bad punctuation.
Should be:
I'm giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.


nostr:npub1fasy3gzm63euwyy62ggrn4m6almg39ks99uksh40tejsknk7sucsdghk5x
There’s even a 1957 film called WOMAN IN A DRESSING GOWN.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woman_in_a_Dressing_Gown


nostr:npub1dnmj5n7eta89x26lx5szjayf6s589tex436gtv7rnrx3uxt3pc9qhxfp5j
A dressing gown is something you put on while assembling your outfit for the day.
A robe is something the Queen or King wears.
That’s my reasoning and I’m sticking to it! 😄


Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it.


At the gym today I saw some idiot put a bottle of water where the Pringles go on the treadmill.


In Russia a 122-year-old man has passed away. He credited his long life to abstaining from alcohol, tobacco and women. His last words were "I've made a big mistake."


Q: What did the Russians say about the spy who had been shot 15 times?
A: Worst case of suicide they'd ever seen.


Breaking: Trump reveals 22 year old photo from Ground Zero that shows him helping first responders.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/064/343/169/636/530/original/c44dec75696123dd.jpeg


SCIENCE FACT: If you took all of the intestines from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.


Did you hear about the blonde friends that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in theatre? They went to see 'Closed For The Winter'.


This is Oona Mae. You gave her a bath. In return, she has put a curse on you and your entire bloodline.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/064/316/403/033/695/original/6461a251ed9b8607.jpeg


Sheesh, I make one mistake and the pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.


An Oregon romance novelist who published an essay titled "How to Murder Your Husband" was arrested, for the alleged murder of her husband.
But her lawyer is more concerned about her other essay, "How to Poison Your Lawyer."


Someone outside the mall asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that...


A Hummingbear.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/058/102/124/201/861/original/1e1fb4a84fa5c031.jpeg


In life you can be like, "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like, "Weeeeeeee!"


Theirye’re. Problem solved.


Fun fact: The first person convicted of speeding was going eight miles per hour.


A house in Japan. It doesn’t even take up mushroom!

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/058/088/992/071/567/original/d8587f546dd97dd4.jpeg


This is what a blade of grass looks like under a microscope. Next time you take a walk outside, know that the grass is happy to see you.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/058/083/239/629/568/original/df15b556840c2f95.jpeg


My cat isn’t paying me enough attention so I improvised.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/058/077/413/294/008/original/a2de74a0d2bab8b2.jpeg


nostr:npub13y8tztx3un67myysq4j5rdujnwngx2vgq73hxj74yddl46rxr8dstv786k
😅🤣😂


nostr:npub1rmzeda88wga4jr4h9t4ycd3qa0cukcp492h5w2qmh47kepdjeymqdfkxf0
Who doesn’t love chili? ❤


Doctors have finally figured out whats wrong with mens brains. On the left side there’s nothing right and on the right side there’s nothing left.


Hey, are you having a nice day? I am!

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/030/007/964/621/566/original/2c5c75a778d8eb90.jpeg


Advice for today: Learn how to spell, auto-correct isn’t always write.


The pharmacist asked me for my birthdate again this morning. Pretty sure he's going to get me something.


Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the whole thing yourself.


If this perfect shot of the elusive Geeky Bird doesn’t win me the Wildlife Photographer Of The Year Award, then I give up.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/029/983/533/230/975/original/661520492712514d.jpeg


When she got home she started researching "Worst Nursing Homes in North America.”

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/029/980/893/609/195/original/67a45e828c14f77c.jpeg


Girls just wanna have funds.


Oh, I see you found my secret stash......

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/024/307/574/012/013/original/878c5e88075a779e.jpeg


I'm not saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in yesterday and asked the clerk to check my balance........she leaned over and pushed me.


If you lick the icing off a cupcake it becomes a muffin. Muffins are healthy.
You're welcome.


“He who has no ovaries shall not make laws for those who do.”
Fallopians 5:12.


Have you heard about the chap who was so dumb he had to get naked to count to 21?


Little known fact: Chickens can actually fly but have a fear of heights, hence the name "chicken".


My mother’s favourite poem:

I powdered my hair and pinned up my nose;
I hung up the bath and turned on my clothes;
I put out the clock and wound the cat tight;
All because you kissed me goodnight.
I ran up the blind and pulled down the stair;
I curled up the rug and vacuumed my hair;
I just couldn't tell my left foot from right;
All because you kissed me goodnight.


There is no day that can't be improved by seeing photos of how they weigh an owl.

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/111/024/275/482/958/071/original/66d0563be46c1e82.jpeg


People say money is not the key to happiness, but I’ve always figured that if you have money you can have a key made.


nostr:npub13cm0r7kv59ky4uz2dmryy7hn8j8alesex4fzq3m3pl72quyv4qrqt8w0we
Airplane?
Batman?
Annie?
Dracula?


Flashdancer

Fun-loving optimist. Survivor. Animal lover, especially dogs and cats.
I detest MAGA and all things Trump. 🐀💩
I stand with Biden. 🇺🇸
I stand with Ukraine. 🇺🇦