I'm sorry about your marriage. 

this subject is something I'm really interested in, and I have a lot to say about my own experiences, so if you want to talk more about feelings and vulnerability I'll be very glad to write more.

it is not easy to face anyone's vulnerability and it's true we are not used to seeing men being vulnerable. and when we face that it's frightening, cause we grew up believing that man we trust would protect us from harm - and this illusion comes with the belief that feeling sadness ou fear, for exemple, is not safe and makes men week. 

but to really built a relationship in which both of us can be ourselves, I must allow myself to feel the fear, the insecurities that come when I see my husband being human and feeling all that comes for him to feel. and when I allow myself to feel that, I can truly embrace his feelings and we can support each other. 

I started paying attention to this in my life at least seven years ago. in 2017 I wrote something about not feeling fully in charge of my safety when I was with my boyfriend (now husband) and the extra weight he felt like he needed to carry when I just left it up to him. he is very honest and his honesty inspired me to be honest with myself and that was the space I needed to be aware of myself, to really open myself up for feeling whatever comes. 

as anyone, we sometimes fear vulnerability, but when we realize that, we can rest and be vulnerable and face our true feelings so they can go and bring fresh air to both of us. as time passes we are more intimate and supportive.

I am open to listen to everyone's feelings. that's really the thing I find most interesting in life, maybe. I'm here if any of you want to talk.