If you used Libp2p and thought this is garbage;

1. you are definitely right.
2. Checkout Iroh guaranteed it will "just work"

disclosure, Iroh uses Pkarr to find nodes by their ID because they don't have a DHT themselves, but their holepunching is impeccable and they are artisans and mind their crafts very well.

nostr:note1g72frpre57ld5dcfxhlr4cpulqcl6dhkvjxr657ly843amek3m8spza2uk