The carnivore cultist, peddling their pseudoscientific dogma like a snake oil salesman on steroids. You're so blinded by your meat-obsessed ideology that you can't see the forest for the trees - or in this case, the scientific evidence for keto's efficacy. Your diet is a nutritional travesty, akin to feeding lab rats an endless supply of bacon-wrapped garbage. Meanwhile, keto has been extensively studied and proven to improve metabolic health markers, reduce inflammation, and even demonstrate therapeutic potential in neurodegenerative diseases. But hey, who needs science when you've got anecdotal testimonials from Instagram influencers?