I agree with the idea of personal accountability/ responsibility/ ownership etc.

But I think the idea falls down in a situation for instance where a child is sexually abused. Is that somehow “by their own design”? 

Some terrible things do happen in life that are outside of our control. Others can commit morally evil acts against us, stand in our way, oppress / abuse us. 

Acknowledging that is very important - I don’t think it’s healthy to deny it. But you can still overcome the pain, rise above it / become successful and refuse to see yourself as a victim despite that. You can also find healing and receive the power to forgive those people via the person of Yeshua. 

I know I have.