Oddbean new post about login | logout I think of this often. My hatred for the corruption of the current system we live under has become much of who I am. I’ve tried so hard to dissolve my ego and let it go but I can’t. The friends I’ve lost, the families I’ve seen destroyed. I want vengeance. The closer I get to breaking free from the system that tried to kill me, the more the survivors guilt creeps up and tries to pull me back down. I’ve tried many times to talk to myself and reason with my ego to prepare for the loss of self that I will feel when I can truly let go of the hate, the rage… but whenever I get close, that part of me lashes out with authority and lets me know it has no interest in going quietly. I guess it comes down to what is success? what is failure? It’s unique to all of us. For me it’s will allow myself to be truly happy? I honestly don’t know if I’m capable. nostr:note1tduyunjnnwhvrsnhnqxpd4mcd8wls35psnree3f5kngttyme0pxqzvl08c
When that angry, powerful part comes up, try greeting it with kindness and understanding. Of course it makes sense that it’s here, to protect you and those you love from being hurt again. Even if its method isn’t the “right” way, it makes sense why these feelings arise: this part of you is trying to help in its own way, even if it doesn’t see the full picture. From that knowledge, notice how you feel toward this part. I have found profound depths of Self/Love through learning to welcome and embrace the parts of myself that want to fight or run. To recognize them as childlike, young, well-intentioned but uninformed, trying to look out for my best interests in the only way that part knows how. 🫂
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Or spent some hours on a push bike, everything else becomes less important afterwards
Exercise is exceptional medicine
I would start by understanding what it would take for me to settle and let go. How the system needs to change is a separate topic. It’s also important to consider whether I’m the right person to initiate the change. Perhaps what I see as corruption is actually beneficial to those within the system—they may want it that way. In that case, it might be better for me to accept the situation and move on. Give the opportunity to someone else, rather than forcing the change.
Well said! Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: "Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything- anger, anxiety, or possessions- we cannot be free." - Thich Nhat Hanh
🙏 a lot of resentment comes from the fact you need to give up equity that you built up in the system you're leaving, that's when people become vengeful
I’ve watched corrupt doctors prescribe heavy painkillers to kids.. hooking them which eventually led to many many drug overdoses and death. I’ve seen good families be ripped apart because of money problems even though the father worked as hard as possible and came home with “good money” at the end of every week. Most of them never even knew what happened and to this day they blame themselves even though the money was specifically designed to destroy those that didn’t understand the difference between a dollar and an investment. My vengeance is solely for them. Letting it go would mean being ok with what was done to them. That’s simply not possible for me. I live for them. I want to destroy this system for them.
Their souls have chosen theirs and your soul has chosen yours. We are all connected and at the same time dispersed. Living what is yours is what creates a union with your soul. Living what is theirs to experience often creates a disconnect, as your jybris/ego suggests to know what is better for them, than them themselves. Meet them where they are. Be the teacher they are ready for. Else let go.
Your deep anger comes from witnessing the violation of something that is sacred to you. Your job is to find out what that sacred thing is & work towards protecting & nurturing it. Focus on the sacred & not on the thing that is violating it. Transmute your anger into productive focus & let the energy in the anger fuel your efforts. You are more than your body & your mind. Fill your heart with love & let your excitement choose your next action & every action. This is trusting your soul to find the most expansive path for you. Your mind's job is simply to observe, perceive & decide what you prefer. Your mind is best used as reflective tool rather than a directive one. Embrace the unknown & let go all fear. ❤️💚🧡