The relay owners who keep on selling data like Twitter fiat twats,  aren't going to make it, as long as enough early adopters insist on a more correct path. Free to access shouldn't require giving up our soul to a fiat creep masquerading as a freedom fighter. 

In this case, I really don't see anything wrong with some strongly worded, but simple agreement that flashes up by default when Nostr users connect to a relay.

"Our relay will not forward a single piece of data to any third party. If we do, we understand that when it comes to light, that is the swift end of our relay's existence on Nostr." End of guideline. 

I presume, overall, that reflects the will of Nostr users?

To back it up, Nostr needs tools to monitor the potential central points of failure of ethos, and tools to make the community aware of those relays harvesting data.

 It doesn't need to be anything subjective. Data in, no data out. If that isn't the case, up goes the red flag. If the cause of the data leaving the system was the FBI with a gun that's one thing. If it's anything else, adiós.

The community needs to demonstrate that there is more potential social benefits or income from being an ethical relay than a data snitch.

I'm not talking guideline theory here. I have seen it in practice in my former work life, where there were no legally enforceable rules, but plain speaking, this is how we roll in this business community.

If you don't think you can participate on this basis, don't bother joining, because when the network finds out a fellow member has been taking the piss, their connections and benefits here are toast. And the network will find out because we value what we have built up and we aren't going to let our values slide, because those core values are all we have to differentiate ourselves from the rest.

Guidelines help those users in a weak moment, all of us at some point in time,  to process the repercussions of saying one thing and doing another for purely selfish ends. Some rules but no rulers.

My tuppence worth. With no technical smarts to know how far relays can be monitored.