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 I know the day is coming and I’m slowly preparing for it, but it’s the tight integration of the Apple ecosystem that I’m fairly sure I’m going to miss the most. Watching a movie with wife when kids are asleep and being able to easily connect both our AirPods to AppleTV so we don’t wake them, for example. 
 I know, those great conveniences is how they get you to stay. One step at a time my friend. My first suggestion is to start with you own server. You can connect from your apple devices. 

I never used iPhones so it was easier. 

Suggested journey: 

1. Get you own @Start9 server. Happy to share more insights if you want to DM me. I also have a discount code. 

2. With deeper understanding and hands on experience with self-sovereignty get rid of the iPhone, but a Pixel and flash @GrapheneOS 

3. Get rid of the Mac and buy a new laptop either with Linux already installed or flash it. I also know there is a Linux distro available for Mac. But I just shy away from their hardware.  
 I have the home server already, running Umbrel because (annoyingly) I couldn’t get Start 9 to recognise second HDD. Have explored GrapheneOS also. It’s on the to-do list next year. Have been hoping someone like Umbrel or Start9 partners with GrapheneOS or does something similar. 
 What I like about @Start9 in comparison to Umbrel is the amazing support team that they have on Telegram. I honestly have not experienced better tech support from any other company. Their response time is very fast and that helped me a lot as I went down the self-sovereignty rabbit hole, coming from a non-technical background. I believe support for second HDD is in the timeline, but can't confirm 100%.

Start9 + Graphene would be a match made in heaven.