There is no "the one." My values have changed over time, and what I value in my spouse now isn't the same as when we were 20. If she hadn't grown with me, she wouldn't be "the one" anymore (which entirely dispells the soulmate ideal). We would have instead grown apart (and I did with someone I once thought was who I would die with). The universe doesn't care about you and doesn't have a particular person chosen for you. People in fact do change and not always for the better. You may find "the one" and end up divorced in 20 years. I think this sort of thinking comes from Disney princess type movies that mystify love and connection.

Your values should determine who is right for you and who isn't. Those values will likely change over time and sometimes the people in your life will too. My wife, up to this point, has grown in the same direction with me, so we remain together. She could go in a completely different direction ten years from now. Or I could. I hope not, but that's reality.