being childless in middle age is nothing to envy, nor is my plague of health

the only thing that is going right for me is i'm good enough at programming to be able to get work and deliver on the spec

if i get lucky enough to find a wife where i go next, then, well, ok, but i played a long game and didn't have fun getting there

the one thing that i am very grateful for is to not be stuck in a position where i have to figure out how to not have the state brainwash my children, that really disturbs me... i had a really bad time at school and i wouldn't wish that on my own children, and it's worse now than it was then