Those large traumatic events certainly change you. I've never surrendered more deeply than during those events & that surrender seemed to dull the pain & discomfort.

I think the victim part comes in around how you process the event after it's occurred. Was this something that was done to you or was it something that your higher self chose?

If you're caught up playing the victim of the event it's a very different feeling. How can you ever get what they took from you back? You're left feeling damaged or incomplete. You're forced to look to the external world to make you whole again & yet you also know that's not possible. You've given away your personal power to the external.

If your belief is that your higher self chose this experience, you can grow from having lived through it. You may have scars now, but you know that they didn't take your internal power.