Bitcoin Confiscation Act Signed Into Law

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a drastic move that sent shockwaves through the cryptocurrency world, President Biden, today, signed the Bitcoin Confiscation Act into law. The legislation, passed by Congress last month, nationalizes all bitcoin within U.S. borders and requires citizens to forfeit any bitcoin holdings over 0.00000001 BTC per person.

"This law is necessary to protect the financial stability of the country and ensure proper oversight over this volatile digital asset," said Treasury Secretary, Janet Yellen, at the signing ceremony. "We cannot have an uncontrolled, speculative currency threatening our economic growth."

Starting, January 2024, in exchange for seized bitcoin, the Treasury will provide compensation to citizens at a rate of $1 million per full bitcoin, with a cap of $10,000 for fractional bitcoin. Payment will be made in a new federally-issued Central Bank Digital Currency (CBDC) that was also created through the law.

The cryptocurrency industry has reacted with outrage, calling the law unconstitutional and predicting that it will drive innovation overseas. "This is a tragic infringement of economic liberties that strikes at the heart of financial freedom," said fiatjaf, CEO of The Nostr.

Some bitcoin enthusiasts have vowed to defy the order or hide their cryptocurrency holdings. But the Treasury Department was given broad authority to track ownership of digital assets and punish evaders.

"I earned those bitcoins fair and square," said local resident SirSleepy, who declined to state how many bitcoins he owns. "I should be able to do what I want with my own property."

The law tasks the Treasury with appropriating $100 billion to cover the costs, a figure some critics worry may still fall far short of the total value seized. Between 18 and 22 million bitcoins are projected to be confiscated nationwide.

The economic impacts may not be clear for some time. But for now, fears and uncertainty rule the day in the once red-hot bitcoin market. Prices are expected to plunge over 30% since passage in Congress, and analysts say this may only be the beginning if confiscation efforts encounter resistance.

Do yourself and your neighbors a favor. Do what's right. Hand over your bitcoin to protect us all.