Yesterday was an unfortunate day for me.

Due to me toying around with Mutiny Wallet somewhat too much, An glitch occured that then makes me barely able to access my wallet.

## Chronology

So back then, i moved my balance from WoS to Mutiny due to interest. Things goes well at the first week until i try to pay an failed invoice for more than 3 times that then when i opened the wallet in other device, I lost 5K of sats (It's the price of that failed invoice. Should be restored by fedimint but this time does not seems so).

Either it's misbehaving fedimint or something messed up in mutiny-node.

So usually, When payment is failed, Mutiny then will restore the balance to my wallet. But if i keep doing it over and over again, which then randomly crashes at the pending stage, Mutiny will not restore my balance for some weird reasons.

That part is where weird things happen. As i try to zap without preserving atleast 1% of my balance (even with fedimint), Sometime fee checking just fails and gives 0 to mutiny. When that happens, I could basically try to send the entire balance of my wallet. But that will make another big disaster, which is what happend to me.

## The suffering begin

Once the second bug happens, The Fedimint federation that i joined will basically says "no" to every single [send] requests that i want to, and the balance will somewhat recover, except it wasn't and will consume A LOT of memory without reasons, which then leading to crash due to out of memory.

If i try to open again, My balance will looks like it was cutted. The previous sats invoice that pending or failed will never restored to my balance again. If only i try to send sats again, The memory usage will go spike up to 110% and then crashes my app or browser, again.

Trying to open again will make it refresh the balance. But still i will not be able to do anything with it as every single payment attempts that i try will simply gives pending result while the memory usage goes spuking up.

If that happens, congratulations. The only way out is to get out from the federation and use on-chain or other federation.

## Solution?

I could try to resolve this in my laptop by adding swaps. But the problem was my disk is just slow. It was not designed for that.

Even it works i may need to wait from evening to midnight. With many retries after hours of attempts, I am still empty handed. Nothing seems working except reporting the bug to the devs now.

## Suffering
The fact that i could not pay for the server that will end in May 1st is even frustrating. So i had no choice but to end up abandoning it as my mutiny wallet is broken.

Oh boy oh boy. Though it's a cold money, These sats simply gone to nowhere and being barely accessible is terrifying.

https://github.com/MutinyWallet/mutiny-web/issues/1098