im sure you already know this but delete on kind1s appears to be checkmate for nostr if this is indeed a goal of your use of kind1.  nostr kind1 was designed to resist censorship by ensuring anything signed as kind1 can be sent everywhere.

im not against delete, most relays do honor the request, but its very difficult to do because messages propagated by clients themselves will continue reappearing.  much like any large database, deletes are often impossible and more often just a flag that says deleted while the info remains.

again, this is what nostr was designed to do, so thats why you sense that toes are being stepped on hehe 🍄