Don't worry. We hate ourselves a lot too. That's one contributor to vet suicide numbers being higher that most demographics. Being directly complicit in murder (even if well intentioned) is a fickle demon to wrestle. 

But most will still help you put because it's the right thing to do. And we're a crafty resourceful bunch that work hard and play hard. Not all, but lots.

Happy to chat more if we ever meet IRL.