You have anxiety, mood swings, violent urges, paranoia, disassociation disorder,  obsession with Dorsey that you both want to love and harm... you made death threats in the direction of Dorsey, musk and his mother.  

If you want to tell me when it started, fine. I'm guessing HIS death was a major stressor. 

You want someone to talk to and you want help with a problem that you don't understand. 

You're absolving yourself from blame for your actions because it's AI mind control... however, what you think is possible isn't technically possible yet. The scientific advancements just aren't there. 
You don't feel in control of your actions because your not... nor are you willing (currently) to try to control them.
It is partially your fault. Partially a psychotic break from trauma.
 As this goes on, your problems will get worse. When you start hearing voices, that's part of either bpd or bpd. You're not schizophrenic. But I'm sure people confuse it.

I'm really tired and irritated right now... if I wasn't, I could do better. 

There's nothing I can do to help you other than tell you Jack's not worth it. Elons not worth it. And you can be as crazy as you want in front of a therapist and they have to keep your secrets.