Respectfully, I would encourage you to take your questions and issues with Orthodoxy, visit your local Orthodox Christian parish, and talk to a priest.

I was in a very similar position being Proteatant for 25+ years before God softened my heart and my wife and I decided to go inquire about this Orthodoxy thing, not from internet apologists, but an Orthodox priest himself.

Glory to God, I came back Home to the Church Christ established 2000 years ago ☦️