I feel the other way around. 

Before wot and the in- and outbox model you would simply throw a handful of relays into any app and your nostr was synched across the network. Now you take your paid relays out of the inbox settings cause (of course) others cannot write to them. Then you setup outbox relays and app relays. Of course you want to be on a WOT relay as well and let's not forget that you should have some search relays too and of course a history relay in case you manage to nuke your profile and list of people you're following.

If you do all of the above right you might receive DM's or DM replies from the people you're communicating with and they might see your comments on their notes unless they don't.

If I have the same configuration on two different client seeing two different timelines and missing entire DM's on one but not the other or I see replies on one but not on the other then something doesn't work and I stand to my opinion that most normies wont spend any considerable amount of time trying to figure out why this is the case and how to fix it.