It turns out that this is an okay solution for receiving larger, intentional payments (like a friend owes me for a round of golf or something and I don't want to screw around with an invoice), but there were some quickly apparent issues that negated the point of the setup vs what I already have setup on my daily phone.
I appreciate everyone's help in testing. The unattended self-custody Lightning saga continues. 💀 For the record, my goal is to come up with a setup that people of average technical knowledge can deploy on something like an old or cheap phone.
On a related note, having other people help with testing uncovers things one may never figure out without help. It's a good idea to let other people poke holes in your systems to avoid costly blindspots later on.
nostr:note1m3jqajtff6sj84tc9yl4td33d5vjfemg43fstppmmqhrpy6r7khq3pwglq