My Youtube channel's analytics indicates that most Bitcoiners are around the age of 35-45 and older. 

We gotta fix that, so here's the Bitcoin Whitepaper Abstract in gen Alpha. (Courtesy of Claude Opus)


Bitcoin: A Homie to Homie E-Bag Sitch

Vibes:
Yo, check it! 👀 We cookin' up this H2H e-bag sitch that's straight bussin'! 🔥 It's all about slidin' that digital bread 🍞 from one bestie to another without them crusty banks all up in our biz. 🏦🙅‍♂️
We got them digifingers 👆 doin' work, but the real tea is ditchin' that sus third wheel tryna block the double-dip. 🍦 Our H2H squad's got the solution that's gonna make you say "sheeeesh!" 😤
Picture this: a chain of receipts 🧾 that's tighter than your favorite TikTok dance. 💃 It's stamped with time and locked down harder than your parents' iPad. 🔒 The longest chain? That's the GOAT 🐐 - proof of what went down and who's got the beefiest tech muscles. 💪
Long as the majority of our tech fam ain't sus, they'll keep that chain growin' longer than a CVS receipt and leave them haters on read. 📏😎 The whole setup's more chill than a Hydroflask, with nodes bouncin' in and out like they're playin' double dutch. 🏃‍♂️💨
This H2H cash is bout to hit different, no cap! It's the future, and it's giving main character energy. 💁‍♀️✨ #H2HBag #DigitalDrip #NoCapNoCap 🧢🚫