It’s for the reason you wrote this:

“1 large public, international relay: nos.lol, nostr.mom, relay.damus.io, etc. “

You seem to be saying that it matters which relays you use. That, if you don’t use large relays, then you will lose visibility and content. 

If everyone prefers to connect to large relays, then the system will stay centralized and become even more centralized over time. 

The only way nostr becomes more decentralized is if it DOESNT matter which relays you use. 

This is architecture which promotes centralization over time: 

“make sure to choose a large international relay”…

This would promote decentralization: 

“just randomly choose any 10 public relays and you’ll never miss a post and all your followers will receive your content.” 

Am I missing something? If it doesn’t matter which relays to use (we can choose randomly), then please let me know.