I go to NYC several times per year for one reason or another. For work, for friends, etc.

Part of me likes it, but part of me gets fucking frustrated multiple times per day every time I am here. (Sorry, this is a Nostr Lyn post).

There are plenty of neat things in NYC that I can’t do at the same scale/quality elsewhere in the world due to the network effects around the city (broadway shows, financial district, etc), and yet after a day or two all I want to do is leave. It feels claustrophobic on multiple fronts.

People all have different vibes but for me, major cities are fun to visit but smaller secondary cities or suburbs around cities are so much smoother to live in. I can’t imagine living all the time in a major city.

The same applies to Cairo, to which I have been in far more total days than NYC. I like Cairo’s satellite cities but not Cairo itself other than going briefly.

Every time I am in a major city I am immediately reminded of the luxury of space, nature, quiet, parking spaces, and chillness of not being in a city. Everything I take for granted normally is now a luxury to fight for in a city.

Even politics are largely correlated to urbanization. If you live in rural or suburban areas, you likely drive around in your own car, you might have some land, etc. Your interaction with the local government exists in a moderate sense. The potential weakness is that you are more likely to always be around those who are similar to you, which minimizes your worldliness.

In contrast to all that, in major cities, everything is so tightly packed, and people rely on public transportation, and even a momentary lapse of government services (eg trash collection) becomes an acute catastrophe. But on the beneficial side, people are around those who are different than them more often, which breeds worldliness.

That’s why I tend to like the zone between rural and major cities. I like secondary cities or suburbs of major cities, because I get a bit of both worlds. The density and interconnectedness of major cities briefly, and the space and self-autonomy outside of them most of the time.

And yet I was born and raised in that sort of inbetween state, and so maybe it is just my upbringing.

What about you? Can anyone sell me the idea of NYC or other major cities that I am missing, especially in the remote work era? I see glimpses of how it could be attractive if you are used to it and know every detail of your neighborhood, but it really does feel limiting to me.


🔫 pew pew pew

🔫 pew pew pew


Just a money pumper , not suitable for living if you’re not in one of those $50 million penthouses lol you’re just a consumer ,New York is hectic and the most expensive place to live I hate it there


I love the anonymity of NYC. You can be around 100s, 1000s of people without having to interact. I get so much energy from NYC, more than any other city I’ve ever been to or lived in.


I feel the same.  Cities are fun to visit, but I prefer living in the burbs.


I wonder how having more access to hard money and capital that doesn't erode over time will affect how we live and interact in urban cores like that.  It's going to be a long road of recovery from 60+ years of incompetent management of our monetary foundation, but when we start to build anew on top of a real solid foundation, maybe it will change things for the better.


Food.
.
.
.
🎤


Living in nyc is very different than visiting. If you have a place and your friends and have learned the ebb and flow of people/commute traffic, you get to know when to go where and really optimize having every part of the day be fun, meaningful, and productive. You also get to be anonymous in the neighborhood 2 blocks away while knowing the shop keepers on your street by name and waving to neighbors in the street.


I live in a beach town, go to the bigger cities surrounding for events, entertainment, dinner,etc. Nice to visit but not live there. Odd how more bustle and chatter feels closed in compared to the openness of home. Hmmm.


Humans were not meant to live in places like nyc, in such tight quarters.


those minor cities would have been major cities for most of human history


Oot, but still yeah. For me the availability of wholesome food is, in my opinion, the most crucial aspect of the place in which you live.


But I think the biggest plus for me is how random everyone you meet is. It gives this impression of limitless opportunities right around every corner, whether it’s in work or personal relationships— and that’s a huge motivation to get out of bed every morning.


Cities are terrible to live in, but nice to visit.

Worldliness as the benefit?  Big stretch.


I've done both a few times, flip flop, right now pretty rural.  Upsides and downsides to both.  City upsides for me were the public transit or biking/walking almost everywhere (except to leave the city).  I could go to a bar and cut loose and not worry about how I'm getting home.  Interesting people, tons of meetups for my field(s) of interest and more social stuff.  Downsides were it was not sustainable, it felt very much like I had to plan for an escape or end up burnt out and homeless.  Gold rush town mentality was readily apparent, always on the watch for getting taken advantage of.  Almost like an extended 10 year visit to somewhere that could never feel quite like a permanent home.

If cities were a little cheaper, it'd make more sense.. I feel like maybe they used to be.  Need to create new cities.


respect.

respect.


nostr:npub1a2cww4kn9wqte4ry70vyfwqyqvpswksna27rtxd8vty6c74era8sdcw83a unfortunately I am unable to sell you the idea of New York City or other major cities that you’re missing because as it turns out, I’m missing the same thing myself.

My mother and I have had this squabble a couple of times. She fell in love with NYC to the core and to this day, I can’t find a single fucking reason why. 🤷🏾♂

When I used to hang around the Miami area often, I always avoided the “catastrophic down town experience”. That “major city” experience that is so dearly loved and cherished. It must be the introvert in me but I am clearly missing it as well. 🫂

😂


We call big cities: sweet prison

You are kinda stuck within this ecosystem that makes you miserable most of the times and it does suck your soul out.

Sigh.


Onward 🫡

Onward 🫡


Same boat. People are starting to realize that you can live in rural NJ and be an hour from the city. You go in for the day and come home to 1-2 acres of green, peace and quiet. Remote/hybrid outside a big city is the ideal mix, esp if you have a family/young kids.


Settlements with the characteristics you liked are closer and of designs more in keeping with the individual.
It reminds me of some of the great Jane Jacops' thoughts on urbanism more on a human scale.
As a person raised in rural areas I don't like the typical big city settlements.
One longs for those spaces where human contact is closer and the scale of the environment is not intimidating.


Stellar ✨

Stellar ✨


I personally enjoyed my time over there, circa 2003.
Maybe this NYC is long gone, but I would create my own personal “Niu Yolk”.
From Tribeca to Union Square, drifting in Central Park with my rollerblades.
Having a blackout and walk fifth avenue with thousands of people…
Great experiences !


Raised rural, but lived in the suburbs. Suburbs started feeling like the busyness of the city, especially after returning from college. Moved out fairly rural to start a family.

Best. Decision. Ever.
Best. People. Ever.

Currently seeking an even more remote citadel.


Aside from enjoying the water & having some friends that build cars near by, & a couple others that I connect with on certain subjects, there are a lot of differences between me & most small town normies, but I'll take small town normies & lots of breathing room over anything close to city life any day.


never been in NYC but it sounds like Shanghai


I grew up in *very* rural area, but a fan of the in between.


My sister lived there for 25 yrs. I visited often. Our son went to USC. I visited LA often.  Live in rural area 3 hrs east of Chicago. 3 hrs west of Detroit.  Could be an age thing, but I’m over the traffic, and the decay I’ve seen in large cities in here in the US. Fun - maybe - to visit for a couple of days.  Rural life - on a lake - much, much better.


There are pros and cons everywhere, so having the ability to travel and live in different places is a bliss because most people can't.


NOSSSSTR LYN!


Agree. NY feels dirty and grey. So many nicer big cities. Mexico City, HK, Toronto (although it has declined a lot recently). I hear great things about the large Asian cities (outside China) but I haven’t visited many yet. I generally avoid large US cities now. You can see and feel the civilizational decay.

One of my favorite cities in the US is Nashville. Smaller, tons of positive energy.


Grew up in NYC and have lived in major metropolis my entire life.
City life is for the young and young of heart.
In my mid 40s I’ve preferred living just outside the city or quieter neighborhoods of the city.
If younger I’d still be all about in the city.
Ease of access, chance to thrive, never a dull moment


I pulled into mamhattan at 2am a few years before covid expecting to get something to eat after traveling for 14 hours and the city that never sleeps was dead.


You’ve just described Sacramento and that’s why I love it here.


I think the inner city urban environment usually is best in younger life. A certain amount of minimalism and hedonistic lifestyle are why most people choose to live in major cities. Otherwise you have a very established family with a long reputation and the city feels like a permanent part of your life.

As well, it’s important to keep the context of the city. Why someone comes to New York is very different than why someone comes to say, Singapore, Or somewhere like Amsterdam. Your ambition and cultural identity plays into how you relate with people and belong to a city.

I agree though there is a life outside this that offers something special as well. Island life has always made me feel very alive and enriched. The capitalist nature of my life is a challenge to this because there is usually almost no economic activity in islands, But everything anyone would want to feel happy.

I lived in Berlin, And Copenhagen, An both places added a cultural aspect to my life I could not find anywhere else. London is a major city I would love to spend time in because of its relevance to my family history, But I see my financial progress really taking a hit in this antiquated center of the world.  We York just feels like a very expensive part of who I have always been. Interesting but nothing new to me.

Asian cities feel like places trying to copy the west. With exception to big cultural sites, The forbidden city, The castles of Japan, The temples of Southeast Asia, The main activities are shopping. It is pretty much impossible for a western person to come to Asia and earn lots of money.

I am excited about Madeira and the future there. As bitcoin gains value life in Madeira becomes more and more attainable.


Onward 🫡

Onward 🫡


I have a close friend who has lived in NYC for the past decade. He’s fortunate to be part of an arts organization that is world-class, and he could only do his job in a handful of places on earth. However, I’ve noticed him harden over the years and cynicism take hold. It wears you down. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him express any small joys of being a New Yorker, only complaints and a tragic spiral of mid-curving his existence. He’ll break free eventually, and I look forward to that day.

I grew up 25-30min outside of another big city, Chicago. Kind of had the best of both worlds. Idyllic suburb, good upbringing, excellent schools, sheltered existence. But I was a short train ride into the city where I was able to experience some of the best cultural activities, and partake in them directly (orchestra).

I now live in the middle of a big city, that’s very diffuse: Phoenix. I get none of the same feelings as being back ‘home’ in Chicago. Maybe some limited cultural activities, but none of the vibe, energy and awe of great infrastructure and social connection.

My next move will almost certainly be to a ‘secondary city’, which gives you some critical mass, strong identity, and space. This seems much more attractive than the in-between state of suburbia, which lacks the identity part, which I miss.


I feel the same way. Major cities overwhelm me. The same energy that makes me more alert and active also prevents me from focusing on doing deep work/thinking. The biggest benefit is the much larger pool of people to meet and talk to, specially when one has more niche interests. I think the best balance is to live in a secondary city and visit a nearby major city for a couple days straight every month or so.


I’m going to try out city living this summer and now you have me worried 😅


Lived there for over 20 years. I liked it because of the diversity in multiple forms but it lost one of the most important ones, the openness to diversity of thought, ability to question and to use common sense in a name of a partially “right” ideology. We moved out and never looked back.


Suburbs/outer rim of the major city are my vibe too. Burbs to grow up in and be able to fully relax, outer city to chill in and get some energy going.


I genuinely appreciate and want mirror your comments here.
A bit older than you, I grew up in a very small town that got gobbled up by Houston sprawl.
I fled that after high-school, as did all my much-higher SAT-score friends.
I went from urban city to urban city, until I realized that what I wanted wasn’t “having fun and finding a lover”, it was finding a place to become myself.
The place I found has now become a Mecca for young people who are following my same path.
Just want to offer that everything is changing, and America is still the place to go, lay low, and make a family.


Thanks for sharing that 🤩💪

Thanks for sharing that 🤩💪


Countryside for growing up, then explore big city life when you're young wild & free and back to the countryside once you feel like it 🤩 Havent researched this extensively but it's more or less how my life went so far and that was fun!


I am looking forward to move my self out of the city. Build a tree house and enjoy it there. The cities here are a lot smaller, so i can not compare to nyc. However i can compare to Funchal. Its somewhat that size. And the vibe in funchal is still more farm side than in my city. I somewhat like that vibe of making produce more. Even though i look at everythink how to automate it :>


Been to Manhattan a couple years ago, it held little attraction for me and I was ready to leave after doing what I needed to do. I personally prefer somewhere between town and small city - just big enough to have a few major stores and a fire dept.  I do like to be able to walk to a corner store if I need something. But I don't want to know everyone I pass along the way, although its fine if I know some of them.  I don't want a paved jungle of suburbia with planned communities of houses where I can see in my neighbor's windows, but sidewalks are nice.


Nope, I can’t sell you on major cities. I grew up in a suburb of a medium city. I’ve lived most of my life in suburbs. Now I live rural and truly enjoy most things about it.
I do enjoy traveling to major metropolitan areas, but just for a few days at a time.


Great post 👍

Great post 👍


I can’t sell you on living in the heart of NYC. I myself moved out to Westchester.  However, there are parts of NYC that are like suburbs or secondary cities. But would you consider that still living in NYC? For example, Forest Hills, Rockaways, Riverdale.  What’s your take on those areas of NYC?


Looks like this was posted about an hour after I went to bed.

So many good notes get missed when we rely only on our client's home feed. Home feeds can be great but they can also make it easy for a small number of your follows to 'flood your zone', either by accident or in an attempt to farm zaps.

A client that allowed drag & drop sorting of one's following list would be cool.

nostr:note1p4cujmx6x4m3rc9f42k2309w8n7gja7hz7qekd6qa87rujp85ztq3lft0n


I go to NYC several times per year for one reason or another. For work, for friends, etc.

Part of me likes it, but part of me gets fucking frustrated multiple times per day every time I am here. (Sorry, this is a Nostr Lyn post).

There are plenty of neat things in NYC that I can’t do at the same scale/quality elsewhere in the world due to the network effects around the city (broadway shows, financial district, etc), and yet after a day or two all I want to do is leave. It feels claustrophobic on multiple fronts.

People all have different vibes but for me, major cities are fun to visit but smaller secondary cities or suburbs around cities are so much smoother to live in. I can’t imagine living all the time in a major city.

The same applies to Cairo, to which I have been in far more total days than NYC. I like Cairo’s satellite cities but not Cairo itself other than going briefly.

Every time I am in a major city I am immediately reminded of the luxury of space, nature, quiet, parking spaces, and chillness of not being in a city. Everything I take for granted normally is now a luxury to fight for in a city.

Even politics are largely correlated to urbanization. If you live in rural or suburban areas, you likely drive around in your own car, you might have some land, etc. Your interaction with the local government exists in a moderate sense. The potential weakness is that you are more likely to always be around those who are similar to you, which minimizes your worldliness.

In contrast to all that, in major cities, everything is so tightly packed, and people rely on public transportation, and even a momentary lapse of government services (eg trash collection) becomes an acute catastrophe. But on the beneficial side, people are around those who are different than them more often, which breeds worldliness.

That’s why I tend to like the zone between rural and major cities. I like secondary cities or suburbs of major cities, because I get a bit of both worlds. The density and interconnectedness of major cities briefly, and the space and self-autonomy outside of them most of the time.

And yet I was born and raised in that sort of inbetween state, and so maybe it is just my upbringing.

What about you? Can anyone sell me the idea of NYC or other major cities that I am missing, especially in the remote work era? I see glimpses of how it could be attractive if you are used to it and know every detail of your neighborhood, but it really does feel limiting to me.


i like that nyc is walkable and convenient, but i can see how it can be frustrating and lately i’ve been wanting to move!


Right on!

Right on!


nostr Lyn > twitter lyn


I have thought about this a lot.  I used to live in the Washington DC area (definitely a city) - I grew up there, and raised my kids in the burbs.

I then made the change to live in a rural area and I love it.  I moved to a forest in the Shenandoah mountains in Virginia.   I'm still 25 minutes to a small city... so close enough.

I can definitely relate to the frustration of living in the city - traffic, rudeness, lack of relationships, and people just being ass-holes because there is no accountability.  In a city, you can almost be anonymous... and you are unlikely to see the same people again.

Don't get me wrong, there are jerks everywhere.  However, people tend to relate and care for one another in rural communities.  The stereotype is that you will be the "new guy" for the next 20 years.  However, I found that people were very accepting of me and my family as "outsiders".  Especially is we were open to learning their culture.

The key to fitting into a rural area is to 1) Not think you are better/smarter or more educated that those around you.  Have some humility.  2) Don't think or portray yourself as being "rich" with showy possessions.  Believe me, the farmer down the road with 300 acres may have a net worth of millions.  Don't look down on his beat up pickup truck with "Farm Use" plates... on and the dog in the back of his truck.  Don't call the SPCA on him.  It's ok for a dog to ride in the back of a truck, really.   3)  Most people from the Urban areas are liberals and most urban folks are conservatives.  Don't try to force your beliefs on others - this includes buying a rural property and flying the rainbow flag... and then wondering why you don't fit in.  Duh...   It also includes people moving  into the city, and then flying the "stars and bars" flag.   It ain't gonna go well.

Anyhow, with all that said...  I chose country life over urban life, but each is free to do their own thing.

Pic of owls just for fun - these owls grew up off my back deck last year.  :)

https://void.cat/d/WTXWv9x3DH3aWVmUzMYRjo.webp


What are some of your favorite smaller cities/suburbs?

I’m with you. Big cities are fun for a little while. The older I get, the less I like being there for long periods of time.


Curious if you have had a strong "home base" in a major city.

Having your own space that you like makes a big difference in a major city.


i’ve personally never enjoyed major cities. picked a cute small beach town in florida (close to Tampa) and work remotely. can’t beat it


NJ gang ✊🏻 I strongly dislike NYC


I feel similarly, which is why I live on the outskirts of one of New Zealand’s secondary cities.

Christchurch is not a hub for anything, but there is enough of the conveniences of a big city along with the excitement, social and cultural aspects, without ever really feeling claustrophobic. Even though it has population of 350,000, the feel is much more like a large town than a city. And there is this sense of interpersonal harmony as a result.

I went to college in the US and would spend summer holidays in NYC. The thing that stood out to me the most was the palpable tension in the air. You could feel the distrust and hostility people had for one another, and saw it displayed in a myriad of ways (constant honking, cutting people off in traffic, yelling obscenities, not making eye contact, not moving to the side to pass one another on the sidewalk, throwing trash on the street…). The level of inconsiderateness was staggering, as was the seeming lack of personal responsibility.

Just being in NYC for several weeks, I could feel it beginning to impact my psychology. Perhaps there is something about living like caged rodents in such a densely populated area that warps us and makes us more callous as humans…


Onward 🫡

Onward 🫡


Totally got you, big fan of NYC-MAD-TYO line but I actually live on a 2nd tier city because all of the advantages you mention.
I'm uber cosmopolitan but big cities are great "For visit". The anticipation of the arrival, the things due to do there, and bam, farewell will see you again... Next year. 😅


Basement bars beers are super chill. Just talk and have fun


I go to Boston regularly for medical care.  That place scares me though I grew up on its outskirts and would venture in by myself as young as 12.  I don't buy into "worldliness" per se as I grew up in an international cauldron. Even in my hamlet 1 hour from Boston ... I'm in the white minority, its all I know.


I grew up in New York, and I hate to say it, I can't bear going back. The deterioration really upsets me, seeing places I grew up in reduced to filth and chaos. I still have strong emotional ties to the city, but not strong enough to suspend good sense.

Completely random - I found myself in Milwaukee for a conference, an unexpected surprise. Clean, vibrant, with that very unique early 1900s architecture. I might not visit in January....but in September, it was fabulous.

Stayed at The Trade, Marriott Autograph. Super slick.....


I loved NYC... but not anymore. 🤔


BITCOIN OR SLAVERY

BITCOIN OR SLAVERY


In easy times, big cities are exciting and light hearted. In hard times, big cities dole out an endless supply of ruthless survivaltude expressing itself amongst a crowded, disgruntled people.


I like the size of austin, has the feel of being in a city with a few sky scrapers, but still small enough to run into people all over town. What’s your favorite secondary cities Lyn?