it's great you are taking responsibility for your confusion... reading between the lines is a skill. holding others to high expectations seems like a loosing game... free your mind and release them from that burden. 
but yeah... here's if you wanna dig deeper. sometimes feeling someone through your senses vs just reading text helps to hear and see them better.  https://youtu.be/EuA2PnBmECw?si=oBkX8m0dGuRKP6-w