So there isnt even a clear cut definition for queer? 

The mental gymnastics just to try and keep all this stuff straight for a straight person. Is beyond maddening. We all cant even try to play along anymore with all this insanity, because the rules and defintions keep changing all the time.

Im just going to be nice. Not try to understand this stuff, empathize, or even try to play along. 

Ill just go by the dont be a dick motto. If i get shit wrong and offend people along the way. So be it. Im too old and impatient to keep up with this shit anymore lol.