On Self-Determination #It'sOn

I remember where I was when I first read the words "self-determination". Yes, I know. I am weird. Still, it is what you want. Even if you don't realize it. You want to be a self-determined entity. A sovereign person. A free state. When I learned that lesson, it was a history class. I was in elementary school and our American school had just been "colonized" by the British. Cool Britannia. Ironically, we were supposed to be learning about American history. Instead, my British teacher, Mrs. Tout, taught us a course on World War II. Otherwise known as European History. As you do when you are a member of the ex-pat community living in West Africa, attending an International private school in the throws of a power struggle between the American Embassy who originated the school and the African Development Bank, who are actually financing the whole operation. The "Africans" wanted Britain. The Americans wanted America. Maybe it was not an American history lesson in the classroom, but it was in practice. The British won and I was plunged head-long into British English, British History and British Math. These were my formative foundations of my education. Anyway, Mrs. Tout, the history teacher, taught us about the process of the "self determination" of Germany. She was a fantastic teacher. She had lived through the war as a little girl in London, with vivid memories of the Blitz. I'm sure it must have been terrifying and the trauma was real. She animated that whole period of history with her firsthand lived experience, explaining how Bismarck, the well-known master strategist from Austria, unified the independent states to form the nation-state of modern day Germany. He used a simple but effective hack that works every time. The common enemy. He conjured up a boogie man, then proceeded to make friends out of avowed enemies to unify the country, consolidating his power in the process. I am sure that was just a bonus; his love of his newly-founded nation was a paramount. Did you believe me, dear reader? Oh dear me. That was sarcasm. Apparently, people do not realize it when I am being ironic or sarcastic. I am forced to announce it, like a magician revealing his method just so his audience can appreciate the show. How unfortunate. My history book stated, that Germany was "self-determined". The point here is I never forgot the lesson. Later on in life, I encountered the concept of Maslow's hierarchy and the top of the pyramid of human survival was the state of “self actualization”. That sounds familiar, I thought. It reminds me of the self-determination of Germany. Will I need a common enemy? How do I get there? What map do I use? Pray tell. Sadly, dear reader, I don't have the answers. Only questions. But I think that's the point. Socrates said "all I know is I know nothing". To me, that sounds like what an enlightened person would say. It is a humbling of one's self before the sheer complexity of life, the totality of knowledge, mostly hidden due to our subjective experience. In the face of this fact, how best to live meaningful lives? Well, first take responsibility for yourself, fully. Don't be King Edward, don't abdicate. Duty, duty, duty. Then cultivate an ego, integrate your shadows. Your darker side. I don't mean melanin. I mean the qualities you possess that are undesirable, deviant and can't be shared with polite society. Like Prince Andrew, if you need an example. No wonder Fergie came running to America. Not Man U, he' Sir Fergie. Not Two Eyes Peas. She's a rockstar. I mean, red-headed Fergie, America's favorite royal refugee until Prince Harry.  Also, Jungian psychology informs us; there is a sweet spot when it comes to ego. Too much, and it is put-off. Too little, then it is easy to put-down like a un-stimulating book or a vapid date. But find the sweet spot of ego and it is hot, hot, hot. Finding yourself, knowing who you are, is the pinnacle of existence. It is the coming into one's own skin, fully assuming the mantle of your being. It is the "I have arrived" moment of your life. What's unfortunate about this occurrence or breakthrough is how late it materializes in real life. Why oh why does it happen in the latter part of our lifetimes. For some, it doesn’t even show up. A kind of stunted growth, you can say. I guess we have to log some life lessons, experience losses and triumphs before we are granted the goods. So life is a proof-of-work currency. Just like Bitcoin. There is no hack, no shortcut or cheat code for the algorithm. You must expend energy, and pay real cost in the form of the electricity of life. As the UK National Lottery slogan goes, you have to be in it to win it. Since we are in the UK, let's visit one of my favourite authors to quote. Oscar Wilde. He famously stated, while living in a hotel in Paris, that "youth is wasted on the young". Spoken like a man who was fully self-actualized, right? He realized how much he had not lived. Said another way, he had just experienced an existential crisis of the "third kind" and proceeded to lament his life decisions had he known better, earlier, sooner. Instead, he died alone and penniless in a foreign land. So not Edith Piaf. A totally, "Je regrette tout" type feeling. England versus France. My Waterloo. It was a running joke in my now-failed marriage that "I know my European history" because of the bizarre nature of my life story and these random trivia I share with you now. The truth is, I barely know anything. I make mistakes all the time. Let's hope that I means that I have achieved a state of "self-determination". If true, then I am happy to report that no enemy is required. See you at the top of the pyramid. The view should be majestic.