the moment rules are imposed, people have to abide. otherwise, you are out. rules and standards are introduced to create harmony (ideally). however, it is in human nature to over step and would test the boundaries to see if the rules are enforceable. In addition, there is always people who will take advantage of the rules, wield it to whoever as it pleases them. hence, so many people do not trust institutions for this very reasons — abuse of power. 💯 understand about the "birthday party" situation. it is your house, your event and you set the rules. If we use this concept to the digital community, I strongly believe it comes down to setting the right expectations. How do we define censorship-resistant? Are we defining it the same way as the others interpret it? If I play devils advocate here, is nostr as a technology promoting censorship resistant is the same as a birthday party — is it the same analogy? 

Perhaps if it is a group chat then of course, depending on who owns the group will set the standards and rules. 

So for nostr, who set the standards, who set the rules? isn't we, the community, collectively — the people? 

this is interesting discussion! ✌️ food for thought worth pondering. ☺️❤️