Hmm
Do you mean zapping people's posts on Damus or the actual zap link on their profile? I know Apple are anal and decided to stop post zapping but allow profile zapping.

For a complete self-custody setup I guess there is Zeus wallet and Mutiny wallet. They require 50,000 or 100,000 sats to open some channels and get liquidity going, after that you should be smooth sailing but sadly I've found them recently to be not quite as responsive as WoS/Alby.

Hardware wallet is probably mucho recommended unless you go for a paper wallet and have it laminated and in different places etc. I recommend https://boltz.exchange/ for swapping from Lightning to On-Chain and vice-versa. There should be many other swap services around though I think.

For buying non-kyc sats/bitcoin I use Robosats and sometimes Bisq.

https://learn.robosats.com/
https://bisq.network/

Best thing though is to find a miner who will sell you non-kyc sats for the market price. If they complain, tell them that cash/fiat is disappearing as well and a fair tradeoff is what you're after.

Good Luck!