i do not want reparations. i do not want back pay. i do not want my family brokered into my life again. i do not want secret stealth shady shifty here i found an actor to tell you what i did and should not have done aren't i amazing now praise me but i still won't talk to you. i do not want subjective relationship conducted through other people. i do not want a message which ambiguously could be anyone from anyone to entrap someone on behalf of someone else pretending to be someone someone thought i liked but never asked about. i do not want someone to make me something out of something they borrowed and deliver it to me like somehow i couldn't make it myself if i wanted to make it. i do not want obligatory contact. i do not want guilty contact. i do not want to hear from you if you do not want me in your life for real. 

real silence if fine if i am not acceptable to have around as i am. if pretending is your game: pretend i am dead and stay away from me. if you can stomach yourself doing that and still using my stuff: great. do it over there. i live my entire life alone now. pretending that is not true is your problem. not my problem. 

i work. you use my work. that is nothing more than basic supply and demand. you are not in my life if that is all we share; which is all anyone in my real life shares (other than my children). 

the end.