"Modern feminism and queer theory owe an incalculable debt to their epoch-making 1990 monograph, “Gender Trouble,” in which they argued that gender is not a static destiny but an activity, not something we are but something we do. If this idea now seems obvious, that is only because it has been so influential."
Not a feminist and for sure not a LGBTQ supporter, but I say gender is not something you are, neither something you do, is something you have. And maybe you have inherited, or received, through your environment a different energy than that of your biology, but what we do with what we have is our out responsibility. Sexuality is not an act.
https://lithub.com/for-philosophy-newbs-five-thinkers-to-follow-today/