"And somewhere in there I'd say there's a fourth decision: When you decide to change your status signaling from things like beauty, power, and material achievement, to things like integrity, competence, and helpfulness."

There are a couple of great Bible parallels in what you are saying Lyn. 1 John 2:15-17 is the first. Our human nature is to chase after the "Lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life" which are neither fulfilling, nor make the world a better place. That's the "Beauty, power, and material achievement" you put in softer terms.

1 John 2:15-17 "Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. 17 The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever."

And also Romans 14:15-19, says what God's kingdom is all about "Righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit". That's the "Integrity, competence, and helpfulness"

Romans 14:15-19 "For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be [g]spoken of as evil; 17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For he who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then [h]we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another."

We love you Lyn!