I’ve been thinking about writing a relay proxy of sorts, or virtual private relay.

It’s a relay, so you configure your client to connect to it, and it only works for you. You configure it to post to and read from whatever other relays you want.

Using this approach then, you could add filters to your virtual private relay so that you only get the content you want, even if the client would ask for more.

It would also cut bandwidth for your client, because the virtual private relay would only have to send you one copy of any note. Currently, if you’re connected to N relays, you could get up to N copies of each note. 

 yes, and when im on mobile data i dont even want the feed i just want to be able to see if someone is trying to contact me or respond to something i posted