Damnit, I gotta go to the hospital.  I can’t put on any underwear or pants, and all I have on is a small white wife beater t-shirt.  Ffs I hope people don’t wonder why I have a beer bottle hanging on one of my balls as I painfully shimmy across the huge hospital parking lot!  

Gotta get this dangling beer bottle off me testicle!!!

I will just say it was from a drinking game.