So you missed the original posters point completely.  Yes we need to be non-custodial but no options exist outside of running everything yourself. Are you the zap nazi to deny them the ability to get zaps because it doesn't meet your purity test? If you insist they run it all themselves are you going to write the guides on setting up their own ln node. Provide initial liquidity, that is steep outlay of money for folks in some countries. Manage their channels? Manage inbound liquidity. How to setup the requisite lnbits instance for lnurl and lnaddress support? And since you are pushing for self custody you don't want to run this on a voltage node that uses aws and gcp, two cloud providers known for "canceling" service to companies that don't meet their purity test without notification. Therefore since they need to be truly self custody you will need to write up the guides for the noobs to run their own home systems. Setup DNS services and port forwarding to their system. And how to manage their install.

Until a better solution is available I wouldn't begrudge a person using a custodial solution just so they can receive zaps. A different communication method and asynchronous transactions is required and it doesn't look like that's going to happen anytime soon.