I know, those great conveniences is how they get you to stay. One step at a time my friend. My first suggestion is to start with you own server. You can connect from your apple devices. 

I never used iPhones so it was easier. 

Suggested journey: 

1. Get you own @Start9 server. Happy to share more insights if you want to DM me. I also have a discount code. 

2. With deeper understanding and hands on experience with self-sovereignty get rid of the iPhone, but a Pixel and flash @GrapheneOS 

3. Get rid of the Mac and buy a new laptop either with Linux already installed or flash it. I also know there is a Linux distro available for Mac. But I just shy away from their hardware.  

 I have the home server already, running Umbrel because (annoyingly) I couldn’t get Start 9 to recognise second HDD. Have explored GrapheneOS also. It’s on the to-do list next year. Have been hoping someone like Umbrel or Start9 partners with GrapheneOS or does something similar. 

 What I like about @Start9 in comparison to Umbrel is the amazing support team that they have on Telegram. I honestly have not experienced better tech support from any other company. Their response time is very fast and that helped me a lot as I went down the self-sovereignty rabbit hole, coming from a non-technical background. I believe support for second HDD is in the timeline, but can't confirm 100%.

Start9 + Graphene would be a match made in heaven.