Update: 

I messed with the .env and updated the local domain. now the web socket connects to wss://notes.<mydomain>.org/relay, which should work ok for what I need right now without messing with the Wordpress install I have at http://<mydomain>.org. I connected to the relay with my client and successfully posted to the relay. 

I guess my question now is whether there is any way to take off the “/relay” at the end of the wss url.